Wednesday, May 30, 2012


When you’re given the boot on the job or for that matter in a personal relationship it is easy to at first want to seek revenge, criticize or condemn the person or the organization. This should be the furthest from your mind. I’m a proponent of the old adage, “Don’t burn your bridges.” In other words savvy fashionistas take a stiff upper lip approach, smile and when questioned by peers or friends with inquiries like, “What happened?” They just smile and say, “I really cannot discuss it at this time,” or “It was an amicable agreement.” And don’t let the conversation go any deeper than that.
KEEP RELATIONSHIPS POSITIVE One of the first rules of farewell savvy is 'honey is sweeter than vinegar.'  When it comes time to end the relationship (or you were given the pink slip) try to keep as friendly a relationship as you possibly can with co-workers or individuals. WHY? Okay good question. Because you would be burning bridges with people with whom you may find yourself working with again at another firm. Or when a couple splits you’re bound to run into one of the partners again and their friendship may still be important to you.
REVENGE BACKFIRES Some people just cannot help themselves and criticism seems to be their best revenge, but it is the worst thing they can do. Whenever someone tells me a nasty piece of business or criticizes a company or fellow worker I immediately wonder, “If they can say this and that awful thing about their colleagues, what are they saying about me?” On the other hand when someone departs and is no longer a couple I wonder what they saw in that person in the first place when they criticize with such vengeance and assassinate that partner’s character in such a degrading manner.
NASTY SECRETS Sometimes it gives the ousted person an opportunity to tell nasty little secrets, which they think will align the listener to their sympathies. This shows very poor judgment and besmirches their reputation. People usually react to revealing office gossip, secret affairs or confidential company business unfavorably, and may wonder shy such a jerk ever was hired in the first place. A public dressing down of a company's executives, your boss or the firm itself can actually get you into legal trouble, particularly if you have signed an agreement with the firm that you won’t malign the company’s reputation. On the personal side of the secret compass you're better off keeping mum. Best policy, do not reveal any juicy details of a couple’s personal life that may have been given to you in confidence. Keep your dignity intact and refuse to listen. Such secrets should be kept in the vault and never discussed.
HIGH END EMOTIONS Many people just can’t wait to set the record straight and make the mistake of sending retaliatory emails at the height of their emotions. Okay, go ahead; you need to vent those disappointments or rejection. However, be sure that you don’t press the send button. Save that email or any written communications as a draft and then read it over and over again the next day and see how you can soften the blow and chose words that show that you’re a straight shooter. Remember that you should always keep your communications on a friendly basis because you never know when you’ll need to reconnect with someone at the office or on a personal level.
SAYING GOODBYE LIKE A PRINCE OR PRINCESS Even if you think that you have been wronged, hold your head up high and sail forth on a sea of positive outlooks. Remember, maybe getting fired was the best thing that happened to you, because it forced you to press onto a better situation. If you must communicate then sit yourself down and write an email to your colleagues and tell them what an honor it was to have worked with them, but don’t point anyone specifically out for commendation, just be magnanimous about how much you learned at that great company. On a personal level, think how lucky you are that it is over. Try to remember the good times and don’t have regrets. The flame of love may have died but you still don’t want to burn the bridges of friendship or possible reconciliation.
Last word to the wise. In all situations keep your emotions in check, think before you speak, before you email or write and most of all keep yourself dignified and confidant.

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