CIVILITY IS FASHIONABLE (c) By Polly Guerin

Whatever happened to proper English coupled with politeness and tender conversation? People today seem to have cultivated an abbreviated version of English that is both perplexing and disappointing. I remember my voice teacher, Madame Danova, when she wanted to excuse herself she would say, “Pardonez moi,” or “Excuse me.” Today, instead of “Thank You,” I hear “No Problem.” Just what does that mean? I did not have a problem in the first place so a polite “Thank You” would be appreciated.

A NEW LANGUAGE Greetings in the new jargon need explanation. I was shocked not so long ago, when a college colleague at a university where I taught would greet me with “Yo,” instead of “Hello,” I guess she thought she was being ‘cool,’ or the students had infiltrated her vocabulary to the point that on one occasion she tried to get my attention by saying “Hey!” I did not respond because “Hey,” seemed like a foreign language and I could not fathom how a colleague could speak in such jargon. Instead she could have engaged my interest by saying, “Beg your pardon.” Perhaps I am asking too much from society. It seems to me that even the slightest event is “Awesome,” even if someone is referring to a deli lunch.

“UMM” IS NOT A WORD Judge Judy has it right all the time on her TV show. When an individual responds with “umm” she cuts right into their “umm” and adamantly says, “Umm is not a word!” and they quickly change to “Yes.” She even takes time to berate them about their appearance in court. “Where did you think you were going today? That is not the proper way to dress to come to court.” I wish those words reach some individuals who think nothing about appearing in public places improperly dressed or rather in a state of undress. Isn’t it time to return to civility in every walk of life?

DINING IN STYLE Even corporations are concerned about how their junior executives appear in public with their clients and some go so far as to hire etiquette experts to teach their employees how to dine using the proper utensils and proper conversation, no putting elbows on the table, No iPads, iPods, cells or beepers to interrupt the business luncheon. Weren’t proper table manners something you were supposed to learn at home? Will the loud voices in restaurants ever simmer down? It seems to me that most of the most offensive people who have been plugged into various electronics devices must be somewhat deaf so by necessity they talk so loud that if you are in the immediate adjacency you can hardly hold a conversation with your table guest.

NO SUBJECT IS TABOO Every topic imaginable is out there discussed on television. From the most intimate physical disorders to sexual functions and a myriad of diseases…it’s a wonder anyone feels healthy. Then the list of adverse side effects you could contract, that the ‘so and so medicine’ may have, is enough to make you vomit. When someone affronts you at a party and opens the conversation with some vulgarity, it’s supposed to be funny. You can’t blame the inebriated guy who got into trouble because he grabbed a woman’s boob that was hanging out of her dress. “She asked for it,” he said in defense.

CELEBRITY INFLUENCE. Celebrities cannot be trusted to give the proper message either. What with necklines down to their waist and slits up to their crotch no wonder women who can easily be influenced think that’s the way to dress. It baffles me why nudity is so prevalent. I wonder why they bother to wear the dress at all, but leave it to the paparazzi to expose their brevity as the hottest new thing. There is no better time than now when people need role models that show off their civility with style and good manners.

I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE GO BACK TO STRICT FORMALITIES, BUT LIKE MANY OTHER PEOPLE I JUST WOULD LIKE TO SEE A RETURN TO MANNERS, POLITENESS AND CONSIDERATION. IN SOME POCKETS OF SOCIETY IT DOES EXIST BUT THE MAIN STREAM POPULATION IS OVERLOADED WITH A LANGUAGE Of QUESTIONABLE INTERPRETATION.